there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
