My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
