I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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