I have demons in me.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
