dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
