Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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