Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
So here I am, sexting at work.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
