I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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