apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
