You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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