So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
