So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
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