All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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