Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize