I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
