Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Randomize
