His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
