god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize