I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
