when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize