your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
