so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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