I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
