Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
