if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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