Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
