i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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