That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize