Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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