I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
