Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
