so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Found your dick twin last night
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
