You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
