R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
