i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
