Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
