Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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