I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
