I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
