i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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