You're my little dorito
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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