found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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