he fucked my hip out of place.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
