people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
