the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
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Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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