just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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