white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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