He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
