we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize