i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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