I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You made out with two different species that night
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
