Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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