in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
