...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
accomplished twins. life is a go
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize