There was a lot of him and a little penis
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
