He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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