CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
