How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
home. puking in laundry basket.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
