You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
