Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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