Is it because I queefed?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
