she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize