If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
